I fight with my husband.

“We’re just on the same page” is a phrase we would always say when we started dating.  I was 20 and Andrew 22.  We were smitten.  I loved him because how he made me feel.  I felt special, adored, respected, spoiled, taken care of and encouraged.  From an outsider things moved very quickly but with us it seemed very natural.

Babies, marriage, new city, new house, new carriers. Seasons changed and so did I.  I wore different clothes, listened to different music, had new opinions, new ideas, and new issues. Our phrase was not used. Now I didn’t even know if we were in the same book.  I struggled. I  felt discouraged.  My fight was against my husband.  My energy went to convincing my point, proving why I was right, and relishing in “I told you so”.  I was exhausted and emotionally drained.

In that place I surrendered and learned to Forgive.  I forgave my husband but I also forgave myself for carrying so much baggage.  Jesus taking it all allowed me to walk freely and come into my identity.  In that place I worked on me.  Therefore I was able to love better.  I love my husband because of who he is; not just because of how he made me feel.  He is strong, brilliant, he has unconditional love for our children, he is kind and giving, hard working and humble, not to mention super cute.  I then realized that my fight shouldn’t be against him, I should fight “with” him.

We are on the same side.  We disagree not to prove our own point but to understand each others.  Every day we are not always on the same page but our motive is to get there.  Daily I make a choice.  I choose to love him because of him.  Just like children we change.  We stay true to ourselves and the foundation of faith but we learn, develop, grow and mature.  And it’s our choice to fight together.

For his side of their Real Marriage, check back tomorrow…and bring your kleenex 🙂

 

InARealMarriage

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