Marriage is a team effort.  It’s you and your spouse together against this crazy world of pressures and changes.

It’s not ‘you against me’, because the two of you are an ‘us’.  What happens to one of you, happens to both of you.  Remember that your spouse is your best friend and advocate, not your enemy.  Just like a sports team, cheer each other on enthusiastically. Instead of begrudging each other’s chores, do them together – “You get the spaghetti & I’ll get the sauce” and the last minute company fiasco is over in a flash – don’t forget to high-five each other!  Way to go Team!

PS – just like a sports team, don’t forget to brag about how awesome your spouse is to others 🙂



When we went for our pre-marital counselling, we were administered a compatibility survey that was supposed to highlight any issues that we might want to talk about before getting married. Mine came back saying that I had “unrealistic expectations for marriage” – well what a load of crock – being married to Alexis these past 12 years left those expectations in the dust. So, take that, compatibility survey people!

The truth is, I think there’s something powerful about having “unrealistic expectations.” Sure, marriage isn’t all a dream with fluffy clouds and ice-cream, it’s two people stumbling through life together as best they can. But I figure I might as well stumble through it with the expectation that it will be a wonderful ride and, you know what, it just might turn out to be as good as I thought – its worked so far 🙂

Actually, I think there’s something a bit deeper going on here – the “unrealistic expectations” maybe helped me look past a cloudy patch to the sunny side that inevitably awaited us on the other side. I think it helps keep us from getting bogged down in a cloudy patch and just getting stuck in there.

Here’s to being unrealistic!