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Respect each other’s strengths and accept each other’s weaknesses. In the years that my husband and I have been married I have often had to remind myself of this idea. When I met my husband twenty-eight years ago, I immediately found myself attracted to this fun- loving, life-of-the-party person. I fell in love with his crazy fun attitude about life, and married him thinking that I had never had this much fun with any single person before. Well, as some may know, and others may learn, married life takes lots of twists and turns and sometimes you just don’t feel like having fun.
When you have two small children, and you’re sleep deprived and tired, “Mr. Fun Guy” might start to get a little annoying, especially when you are taking yourself way too seriously. Over the years, I have had to have a few gentle reminders that it is really important to see the humor in most situations. I recognize the value of keeping your sense of humor, and respecting my husband’s strengths. His ability to make me laugh and his adventurous spirit keeps us both young at heart and looking forward to many more years of fun together.
First of all, it is really easy to let the small stuff bother you. There is always a choice, no matter how it feels at the time. You can choose to let things go and to laugh about it, or you can stew about it and let it build up into this monstrous thing until what should have been minor becomes a big deal. Either talk about it and work on it or just choose to not let it bother you. Second thing is that you should never take an argument to bed, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t go to bed angry. It means you should get some sleep and talk about it in the morning. 3am rarely improves any situation. If you say something you might not mean when you’re angry, it doesn’t matter how sorry you are, it’s out there and you can’t take it back. The guilt will stay with you and your partner will always wonder if you really meant it. Sometimes it’s better to wait until the heat dies down to talk about it. The last thing is not to underestimate the power of common courtesies. Make the bed, leave the toilet seat down, and (most importantly) cut your toenails.