Choosing your bridesmaids is a big deal. Your bridesmaids might be your sisters, best friends, or even coworkers. Whoever you chose, you are telling them how much they mean to you and you want them to stand next you to as you make the biggest decision of your life. As you make your way to the alter, of course, you want their support, love, and help. Now, what do you do when one or all of your bridesmaids are slacking off and not helping you? This is a tricky situation as you are probably getting more and more mad with your bridesmaid’s lack of help but you are afraid of losing a friend. Here are some suggestions on what to do:

1) Ask yourself if you are being reasonable.
If you had a “nightmare” and you called your bridesmaid at 3:00 am asked her to call your wedding decorator to change the color of your reception table cloths, you are being unreasonable. Your bridesmaid has every right to ignore you at 3:00 am. You better hope that your bridesmaid forgives you and talks to you the next day.
If you asked your bridesmaid to come wedding gown shopping with you and she had to reschedule four different times, I would say you are being reasonable in your assessment that your bridesmaid is a slacker. Or, she has something going on in her life that you don’t know about. So, go to the next point.

2) Have an honest conversation
Remember, before your bridesmaid was “your bridesmaid,” she was “your friend.” Have an honest conversation with her to see what is going on in her world. Maybe she is stressed out at work, maybe she has some family issues going on, or maybe she is in a new relationship. Whatever the case, try to see what is most current in her life. Don’t approach her with telling her what she hasn’t been doing for you. Likely, her world doesn’t revolve around yours.

3) Make a decision
Decide whether or not you still want her as your bridesmaid and whether she is up for it. If it sounds like she has a lot going on in her life at the moment, politely offer her the opportunity to back out of her role. It might be best for your friendship. If you decide that it was a misunderstanding and she is up for the role (or job), clean the slate and assume that she will be on board from now on. Don’t let past feelings or anger get in the way of enjoying wedding planning with the help of your bridesmaids. Remember, after the wedding, you still want to be friends.


Monica Hui

Hello! I'm Monica and I have many passions. Most of which relate to planning, decorating, and crafting. Growing up as an only child, I frequented fabric stores with my mom and home improvement stores with my dad. Having acquired some sewing skills and a bunch of tools, I love to personalize and make things/events unique. I have a can do attitude, so if I can't buy something, I will try to make it from scratch to complete my vision or project. (90% of the time it works out.) Wishahmon was started in 2008 because I was the go to person when my friends needed help planning or decorating their weddings. I didn't start the business to make money off of them but because I was quickly running out of friends getting married and I wanted to continue to do what I loved. In 2010, I expanded into event planning and design. This was my outlet to give back to communities and help out with their fundraisers. Born and raised in Calgary, I felt it was my duty to help out in whatever little way I could. In 2012, I started a wedding gown consignment boutique but traded that in 2015 after the arrival of my daughter, Grace. While I miss seeing the bride's face when they have found their perfect wedding gown, I don't regret my decision. Grace's smile makes up for everything. Becoming a new "old" mom really kicked my butt. As such, the Wishahmon brand has expanded to include stories about pregancy, babies/kids, and my personal stories of motherhood.

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