I first met my husband Todd four years before we “really” met. I was travelling to the Okanagan for a friends wedding and had another good friend Cori driving with me – she needed a lift to the Okanagan for her family reunion. We drove up in my new blue sports car…with only two speeding tickets on the way up…. I dropped her at her grandparents house and her Grandpa said come back if you need a place to stay. I thought I had lodging that night but when I got to my girlfriends house I could see that wasn’t going to happen. I normally would have rented a hotel but that day after the wedding I decided to head back to my friends’ grandparents house. Her Grandpa told me I could be a ‘Creed’ (their last name) for the day. I met Cori’s cousin, Todd and his girlfriend that night…Todd and I talked a lot that eve, we hit it off…I do remember the evil eye a few times from his girlfriend. I drove home the following day with Cori….she was so excited that Todd and I had hit it off and was practically planning our future. I reminded her of one thing…we both had steady partners. She continued over the next few years telling me all about what Todd was up to. Fast forward four years, I was ending my relationship and not in a great place when she asked my up to the Okanagan again to be a Creed again for the day at the reunion….she knew a getaway would help….so I went. She picked me up after night shift in her open top jeep…I fell asleep the whole way with my hair flying out the window waking up with Marge Simpson hair. Who should open the front door but Todd. I had a fantastic weekend…Literally feeling electrified every time I was near him. I got home and promptly told a friend I had the met the guy I was going to marry. I had left my running shoes in the Okanagan by accident…I was travelling to Arizona the next weekend to run a triathalon and see my current partner. Todd’s parents couriered my shoes to me…putting them on after my bike I noticed a note from Todd in the shoes…saying Good Luck… That was a turning point for me….It gave me the strength to end my faltering relationship because I figured if I could feel that way about someone else, it was definitely over.

I called Todd once I got home…we met with a group of friends on the Labour Day weekend. We discovered we were both travelling to Australia and New Zealand. He was going to work as a teacher and I was going to work as a Nurse…we decided we should meet up…a few days later we decided to travel together…the rest is history. Right before we left Todd was contacted by the RCMP for basic training…this was a dream of his, he had applied many years earlier. They couldn’t tell him his start date so we decided to travel together till then. We left on November 9th….got engaged on Dec 23rd…and travelled together until he was called home for training in February. Being away from him was soooo hard…I threw myself into working as a Nurse and planning our wedding across the Ocean. Although Todd’s Grandpa died that August, he had told me shortly before he passed that he was so glad I stuck around and was going to be Creed for life.

Our first posting was Hobbema Alberta. Todd graduated on November 3rd from Regina. He drove to Vancouver making it just in time for our rehearsal dinner on the 5th. We got married on the 7th and arrived in Hobbema on the 14th. We had no home, no friends and far from family…our moving truck not there yet but I never felt more excited or hopeful for this adventure we were on. I had been apart from Todd longer than we had even dated, yet I knew he was my soul mate and that we would figure it out together.

The RCMP life is a good life but not an easy one always – shift work means long hours…combined with my Nursing shifts…sometimes we were ships passing in the night but we worked our butts off, travelled and had fun. Being transferred is a great Opportunity but so hard to leave the life you have created to move on only to do it again…we had settled in Red Deer for my job and were there for 5 years. Our first baby was born there in 2002 and we transferred to the Sunshine Coast in 2003. It was so hard to leave our forever friends in Red Deer…some days I resented the life we had chosen but knew we were moving to the community where my parents had settled, that was the carrot that made it slightly easier! I knew we would do this together.

Another baby later I was looking for more flexibility in my work life but couldn’t imagine fitting in more shifts. When I was presented with another Opportunity Todd was the rock for me as I decided to start my own home based business which I run to this day. Although he describes himself as “not a great entrepreneur “, he saw it in me when I didn’t. He has been my steadfast supporter through the good and bad as we have grown and continue to work this business together.

One more baby against all odds and bedrest from week 20 on …I watched Todd and family and friends just handle it all with our 4 and 6 year old. As soon as Baby #3 was born we were once again transferred to Ottawa Ontario…a great Opportunity for our family but this was one of the most difficult moves for me yet. I arrived in Ottawa with a 4 month old, a 5 and 7 year old…no friends, family or contact…Todd was gone travelling Nationally and Internationally far more than we anticipated. I almost gave up my business and truly was struggling but he keep gently encouraging me to put one foot in front of the other, Thankfully, I kept going. I think this part is key to us as we both sacrifice for each other…it may not always look equal at the times…there is no running tally. It is unspoken but understood.

Two years ago we transferred back to Nanaimo. We have been married for almost 18 years…there are days I can see how much we have changed more clearly than others. There are many not so perfect moments as we traverse through being parents of teens (what is perfect anyway). We are challenged in our beliefs as parents constantly. We are on the run with our three active soccer playing, gymnastic, volleyball, basketball…you name it kiddos – sometimes I truly feel we are again ships passing in the night….but I love it, I wouldn’t have it any other way or be with any other person but Todd. It hit me the other night when I watched a couple in golf gear, possibly in their 50’s hoping out of the car – I imagined they had been for dinner and were now leisurely checking out Home Depot for new ideas for their home. I realized how fast life goes. Hopefully that will be us one day…BUT not so fast please!!!…I remember our first date, our wedding, our babies like it was yesterday.

I see more than ever we need to continue to focus on our time, date nights…fun with friends…we are working on it…some days are better than others =) I have faith that we GOT THIS…and hope for what is to come. I am grateful for my journey with my best friend.

InARealMarriage

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