Alan and I met when we were in our early 40’s, both of us unmarried, both childless, both a lot of life prior to getting together. Alan is a carpenter and he was referred to me when I wanted to do some renovating on my house. We grew to like and respect each other during the renovation and when it was complete, we discovered we had fallen in love. We subsequently lived together for 10 years. We are both strong willed, opinionated people, so we had some hurdles to overcome, but at the end of 10 years we decided to get married.

We ‘eloped’ to an island up the Vancouver coast and were married by a Marriage Commissioner. His wife and our guest house manager were our witnesses/photographers. Now, we’ve been married 10 years … 20 years altogether … quite amazing at times!

After we were married, we noted how we both felt different being ‘legal’. The level of commitment felt so much stronger. We had made a statement to ourselves and others that we wanted to remain together. It took time to find the right person and, in spite of inevitable conflicts, we’re still happy we found each other. We enjoy each other’s company, ( almost all of the time), and we’re able to share laughter and sadness.

I believe I’ve learned some valuable life skills through marriage, for example, forgiveness, self-care, and not taking things too seriously. We hope to have many years ahead of us to practice and improve upon the things we’re learning

InARealMarriage

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